Drawing on her experience as a middle school teacher, a parent, and research in education and psychology, Lahey makes the case that failure is a necessary and valuable part of learning and growth. By constantly “rescuing” children from challenges, disappointments, and mistakes—such as delivering forgotten homework, challenging teachers on poor grades, or interfering in social dynamics—parents inadvertently undermine their children’s confidence and ability to solve their own problems.
The book serves as a manifesto and a practical guide, providing a blueprint with targeted advice for handling common parenting and education challenges. Lahey encourages a shift toward “autonomy-supportive parenting,” where parents provide support and guidance but allow children the necessary space to face consequences, learn from setbacks, and develop the competence and problem-solving skills needed for long-term success in life.